When Breath Becomes Air — 15 Lines That Took My Breath Away!🫁💔

How often do we think about the afterlife? When was the last time the thought of death crossed your mind? I experienced my life flash right before my eyes as I tightened my seat belt during bad turbulence. At that point, I could either be afraid of dying a painful death, or I could look back at the most beautiful moments of my life.

Death is inevitable. I am not a gorgeous cold-blooded vampire who can question death. But I have been fortunate enough to have read about someone who has had first-hand experience of watching and fighting death, one moment at a time. Without further ado, let me introduce you to a writer and neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi, who was diagnosed with stage-4 lung cancer at the age of 36.

When Breath Becomes Air is his memoir and a collection of his learnings, highlights of his life, achievements, and much more. But most importantly, it is about his search for meaning and his purpose to understand the relationship between meaning, life, and death.

It is the legacy he has left behind for his daughter Cady and wife Lucy, who he loved till his very last breath. Every line of this book compels you to delve deeper into his life.

Here are 15 such hard-hitting lines that are etched deep in my memory.

1. On learning about his illness — “But this scan was different. It was my own.”

2. The healing power of words — “When there’s no place for the scalpel, words are the surgeon’s only tool.”

3. When death knocked on his door — “Death so familiar to me in my work, was now paying a personal visit.”

4. Life vs Death — “The first birth I witnessed was also the first death.”

5. Living with cancer — “Death may be a one-time event, but living with a terminal illness is a process.”

6. On finding a calling — “Putting lifestyle first is how you find a job — not a calling.”

7. Last words of a full-blown alcoholic — “An alcoholic, his blood no longer able to clot, who bled to death into his joints and under his skin. Every day, the bruises would spread. Before he became delirious, he looked up at me and said, “It’s not fair — I’ve been diluting my drinks with water.”

8. The thought of separation — “What are you most afraid or sad about?” she asked me one evening while we were lying in bed. “Leaving you,” I told her.”

9. Embracing death with love — “At home in bed a few weeks before he died, I asked him, “Can you breathe okay with my head on your chest like this?” His answer was “It’s the only way I know how to breathe.”

10. On being present — “I lay on the cot and smiled back, watching her belly rise. There would be so many absences in Lucy’s and my daughter’s life — if this was as present as could be, then so be it.”

11. Fight death to be with his daughter — “I hope I live long enough that she has some memory of me.”

12. His message for a grown-up Cady — “When you come to one of the many moments in life where you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing.”

13. Farewell — “I held her cheek to Paul’s, tufts of their matching dark hair similarly askew, his face serene, hers quizzical but calm, his beloved baby never suspecting that this moment was a farewell. Softly I sang Cady’s bedtime song, to her, to both of them, and then released her.”

14. Fighting till the very end — “I can’t go on. I will go on.”

15. Words by his wife, Lucy — “What happened to Paul was tragic, but he was not a tragedy.”

    
    

Paul’s life was brief, but his relentless search for meaning has inspired many, including me. His memory lives on. The beauty of this book is that you feel like you know him as you get more and more invested in his story.

These quotes are like a teaser to one of the most thought-provoking and inspirational books I have ever read. Pick up a copy of ‘When Breath Becomes Air’ and share your reflections in the comments below. 👇

Love,

K 🌻